Top 10 Most Anticipated Summer Movies of 2013

Ah, the bright & warm days of Summer are upon us once more. Sipping margaritas by the pool, Reading on the porch during the rain, and best of all Summer movies. Yes, this is the time of year when the studios pull out the biggest guns to bring in the most cash. And unlike other years, 2013 looks to have a good crop of cinematic spectacle to suit any taste. So without further ado,

Top 10 Most Anticipated Summer Movies of 2013


10. Red 2



RED, loosely based on a Warren Ellis comic though he doesn't seem to mind, was a really fun action comedy from a year or two back. If you'll recall it starred Bruce Willis as a retired CIA agent who was framed for a crime he didn't commit and had to get all his old buddies together to clear their names. As I said, it was a fun movie that got a lot of mileage and jokes out of its premise. I don't know if it needed a  sequel but I'm not upset we're getting one. From the trailer it seems like more of the same, old people quipping and kicking ass, but this time Storm Shadow, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Anthony Hopkins as a bumbling scientist are along for the ride. Unself-conscious fun in action movies is always welcome and I can think of worse things to put in theaters other than Helen Mirren shooting guns. Red 2 looks to be a good close to summer.

9. Elysium


Four years ago, Neil Blomkamp burst onto the scene with District 9. It was an instant sci-fi classic, balancing action, social consciousness and impressive design work. This year he's finally back with Elysium, another socially conscious sci-fi adventure. This time Blomkamp's focusing on wealth disparity in the far future, with the rich living on a space station and the poor trapped on Earth. That is until Matt Damon brings the whole thing crashing down. Using a garage-made exosuit, he'll fight off Jodie Foster, Sharlto Copley and their army of robots to storm the space station. If this is half as good as District 9, it'll have been worth the wait.

8. Kick-Ass 2


Oh Kick-Ass, you delightful scamp. For my money, the original is still the best spoof and love-letter to superheroes in general and Batman in particular. And this sequel looks to have everything that made it great pumped up to 11. With the original being about real-world superheroes, it looks like this one will be about real-world supervillains which will hopefully lead to more insane juvenile hijinks. (SPOILER) Unfortunately Nicolas Cage will not be returning after dying last time (END SPOILER) but instead we have Jim Carrey playing what looks like a crazy homeless Captain America. Awesome. Bring on the gratuitous swearing and violence!

7. The Lone Ranger



I know it looks terrible. I don't care. That's why I'm looking forward to it. This is exactly the sort of bad movie I love. Questionable casting decisions, nonsensical action scenes, just "What the hell were they thinking?" filmmaking at its finest. Oh, the glorious cheesiness of it. Like the end of the above trailer, this is a train wreck I can't wait to see. And if it turns out to be okay, all the better.

6. Star Trek Into Darkness



All right, I've hemmed and hawed about this movie plenty already. But despite the dickishness of Abrams & Co.'s jerking around about details, you can't say they don't have me interested. I want to see this just so I can find out what the hell it's about. Who is Cumberbatch playing? Where did he get his evil ship? Is somebody going to die? Is it going to be Spock in the laziest homage ever? I don't know. But these assholes have me curious enough to pony up eight bucks and find out. Dicks.

5. Monsters University



Pixar seems to have realized that having colonized a generation's collective memory, they can now make a ton of money making nostalgia trips for Gen Y college kids. Eh, all right by me (he says being in that exact demographic) especially if they all look as fun as this. Bringing John Goodman & Billy Crystal back as Mike & Sully would have been entertaining enough, but dropping the two into the well-worn Animal House/Revenge of the Nerds-style college movie looks hilarious. Combine this Pixar's legendary writing and animation skill and Monsters University has the potential to be the funniest thing this summer. Plus Nathan Fillion is in it and who doesn't like Nathan Fillion?

4. The Great Gatsby



Baz Luhrmann has never made a good movie. Romeo+Juliet is turgid crap, Moulin Rouge only works in pieces and I haven't seen Australia but it's apparently terrible. So why am I excited for his new movie? Well, his sensibilities just match the material perfectly. Luhrmann's garish color palette and packed mis-en-scene are almost made to capture the emptiness of excess implicit in F. Scott Fitzgerald's classic American novel. Plus the cast is dynamite, headlined by Leo DiCaprio as Jay Gatsby himself. Here's hoping this is good and we all find out just why that Gatsby is so great.

3. Iron Man 3



Following up The Avengers would be a tough act for anybody, even a dude who wrestles fighter jets. Thankfully, Tony Stark seems to have pulled out all the stops for his third movie. There's his PTSD from The Avengers, a strained relationship with his buddy War Machine (now rocking the stars and stripes), Guy Pierce making all sorts of trouble, ongoing problems with Pepper and Ben Kingsley's Mandarin making everything worse. Good thing he's got an army of Iron Man suits to help him out. All indicators point to another satisfying outing from Marvel.

2. Man of Steel



Like Star Trek, I've already talked quite a bit about this one. But I'm really excited. Superman is getting the update he so rightly deserves, bringing everything that makes him great into the 21st century. Director Zack Snyder and Producer Chris Nolan have created a movie that already looks beautiful and from what we've seen the actors have their characters nailed. If the story is as good as the visuals, this could be a superhero classic. It's good to have Superman back.

1. Pacific Rim



Giant Robots versus Giant Monsters. Do I really need to say anymore? Yes? Okay, how about the man making those Giant robots and monsters being monster-maker extraordinaire Guillermo Del Toro. And he got Rinko Kikuchi, Ron Perlman, Charlie Day, Ellen McLain and Idris Elba (The British Samuel L. Jackson) to play the humans. Not enough? GO WATCH THE TRAILER AGAIN. A giant fucking robot is about to hit a giant monster with a boat. This is exactly the sort of thing summer movies are made for.