Trailer Park: Doctor Strange teaser

We've had Iron Men, aliens, & Inhumans. Time to get really weird...



I can dig it.

Batman vs. Superman: A Review

MAJOR SPOILERS FOLLOW

Let's not waste time, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

After two hours of adolescent bullshit, DC Comics' three biggest, most well-known iconic heroes team up to do battle with a rampaging monster. Theoretically, this would be an amazing moment. The first time all three of these characters, one of whom is making her cinematic debut, have appeared together on the big screen. It should be uplifting to the audience and gratifying to long-time fans of these characters. But's it not. Because the previous two hours have not given any kind of logical reason for this to happen and the moment is immediately ruined by Zack Snyder's shooting the film as though it was a disaster movie and not, you know, a fucking superhero movie. So the following battle is a disorienting mish-mash of explosions, lightning bolts, and Wonder Woman being tossed around like a rag doll by an utterly generic grey CG monster. It's boring, nonsensical, and not worthy of the portentous Hans Zimmer score blaring over it, the dingleberry-cherry atop this shit sundae.

And it's not like this was a hard concept to fuck up either. Putting aside the merits of doing a superhero versus movie, decades of comics have given the filmmakers a road map to follow to make this thing work. We've got two heroes, they don't like each other. Batman doesn't like Superman because he's nearly all-powerful and answers to no one. Superman doesn't like Batman because he takes the law into his own hands and beats up poor people. They start out merely exchanging threats until they're egged on by a super villain (Jesse Eisenberg's Lex Luthor in this case) to distract the two heroes from his evil plan. The two heroes come to blows, neither winning, until the villain's plan comes to fruition and they decide to put aside their differences to save the day. Wonder Woman shows up to help, day is saved, villain defeated, and grudging respect is earned. Shake hands and see you in Justice League. And while Snyder's film follows some of those points, it diverts from this simple route into a convoluted mess and can't manage to establish any kind of coherent reasoning for anything that happens.