The Top 10 Princesses
10. Princess Aurora, Sleeping Beauty
I had to put one Disney Princess on here. But the reason Aurora is last on the list is because I think I like her movie more than the lady herself. When I was younger and I had almost every Disney movie on VHS, this was my favorite. This movie has such a great look, wonderful use of color and design. It looks like a medieval tapestry come to life. Good supporting cast and probably the best Disney Villain ever makes a memorable movie. But that's not a knock to Aurora. In a way, she's almost the quintessential Disney Princess. She's a beautiful blonde, wears a fancy dress, sings with animals (I always remember her dancing with the owl in the cape), the whole shebang. It's a shame her movie shortshrifts her, but that'll happen when you have to sleep through most of it.
9. San, Princess Mononoke
Okay, this is a cheat but this movie is good enough I don't feel bad about it. San isn't actually a princess, she's just called a princess. She's actually the adopted daughter of a wolf goddess and one of the protectors of a sacred forest. The plot of the movie involves a group of human settlers invading the sacred forest and destroying part of it. At night, San and the wolves attack the human settlement and try to drive them off. It's the settlers that call her Princess Mononoke, which means something like "ghost princess". If that brief plot summary I gave sounds like cliche environmentalist BS, you're not giving this movie enough credit. Princess Mononoke is one of the most nuanced environmental films ever made**. The script doesn't preach and the characters aren't mouthpieces. Especially San. Just because she's a main character doesn't mean she's nice. She's angry, violent, and savage. Pretty much the opposite of anyone's idea of a princess. But she's still a kickass character who can garner your sympathy and is caught in the middle of a moral warzone. Undoubtedly, one of Miyazaki's best.
8. Princess Aura, Flash Gordon
If I'm putting a Disney Princess on here, I'm putting an Evil Princess on here. And if I'm going to, best go with one of the earliest. First appearing on the scene in 1936, Ming the Merciless' daughter Princess Aura has been trying to get Flash Gordon in bed ever since. Yes, while her dad would like nothing more than wipe the classic Sci-Fi hero from existence, Aura's more interested in killing Flash's girlfriend Dale and getting him all for herself. Sexist? Yeah, but it was the 30's. And it's that love that's caused her to turn good more than a few times in her various incarnations, making her one of the first examples of the Mad Scientist's Beautiful Daughter trope. All that precedent is more than enough to get a spot on the list.
7. Dejah Thoris, A Princess of Mars
Ladies and Gentlemen, the first Sci-Fi princess. Really, she's the literal first princess in the science fiction genre. At least as far as I know. Created by Tarzan creator Edgar Rice Burroughs way back in 1917, Dejah is the princess of the Martian city Helium and is captured by the savage Green Martian Horde. Here she meets displaced Civil War vet John Carter and they instantly fall in love with each other. And once they're apart, it's that love that inspires Carter to fight his way across Mars and overthrow its corrupt governments in increasingly amazing ways to get her back. Seriously, you should read these books. They're awesome. While Dejah was just the Damsel in Distress in the books, the movie John Carter, where she was played by Lynn Collins, turned her into a badass warrior and brilliant scientist. And while that's usually a lazy attempt at feminism, here I thought it gave a legendary character some needed layers.
Plus, she's naked a lot. So there's that.
6. Princess Nia Teppelin, Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann
At first, Nia seems like your average princess. She's sweet, kind to everyone, cute as a button, and a bit naive. But then you look at the show she's in. Gurren Lagann is a giant robot anime full of explosions, fights, bouncing boobs and masculine id. She ought to stick out like a sore thumb, but she doesn't. Yes, despite being a mostly traditional princess Nia shows as much fortitude as the guys who jump into the massive mechanized death machines. It takes a lot of courage to walk up to a giant robot unarmed and tell it to stop. And she's unusual in that her dad the king is the show's villain and she's with the heroes. Then again, he did put her in a box and dump her in the post-apocalyptic waste to die. But she's not bitter about it, instead she helps rally our heroes out of their funk and lead the charge on her father's castle. Nia's such a pure good soul, even being controlled by evil omnicidal aliens won't break her. Now that's a princess.
5. Princess Bubblegum, Adventure Time
Princess Bubblegum looks and plays like your usual princess. She's the kind and just ruler of the Candy Kingdom and loves pink. But like a lot of things in Adventure Time, she subverts it. Firstly, Bubblegum is big into science. She's often seen wearing a lab coat and a few of experiments send Finn and Jake off on their adventures. Like when she creates some new horrible lifeform that threatens her kingdom. You've got to like a princess who plays God in her spare time. And secondly, she's kind of psycho. Most of the time she's sweet and friendly, but get her mad enough and you'll end up regretting it. Between the mad science and the emotional instability, I get the feeling there are more than a few skeletons in her castle. Watch out for this one man.
4. Princess Zelda, The Legend of Zelda
Much like her sister-in-arms at Nintendo, Princess Peach, Zelda started off as just the Damsel in Distress for the hero to save. But unlike Peach, Zelda has evolved over the years from Damsel in Distress to competent ruler. When Hyrule comes under attack, she isn't afraid to take up a sword and fight herself. And instead of being the hero and love interest, Link has become her knight. Serving directly under Zelda and clearly subservient to her. But even having a knight, Zelda will do whatever it takes to defend her kingdom, from taking up arms against Ganondorf to becoming a cross-dressing ninja. Zelda always carries herself with grace and poise, even when she has to kick a little ass.
3. Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Yes, the Serial Wordsmith is a brony. Do with that info as you will. And as a brony, I suppose I ought to give this spot to Equestria's sun-controlling ruler, Princess Celestia. But I'm going to pass over the pharaonic horse goddess for her younger sister Princess Luna. Why? Because I like her more. Luna started off the series as a villain who wanted to cloud the world in eternal night but was cured by the power of friendship. But just because she wasn't evil anymore, didn't mean she was socially adjusted. Luna has tendency to speak in an archaic almost Shakespearian style and crank the volume up to 11. And she's a bit of a goth, finding the frightening and macabre cute. The fact that she used to be evil and her odd quirks turn any encounter with Luna into a hilarious misunderstanding. She's the princess of the oddballs and we love her all the more for it. All Hail the Princess of the Night!
2. Princess Diana of Themyscira, Wonder Woman
Yes, Wonder Woman is a princess. She is the Princess of the Amazons. That's kind of her deal. Diana was chosen to leave the women-only island of Themyscira to come to Man's World and spread a message of peace. Once she got here, she started doing superheroic stuff and the press dubbed her "Wonder Woman". But what else is there to say? Wonder Woman is the world's best known female superhero, first showing up in 1941, and she's been doing her thing since. She's changed over the years, going from patriotic suffragette to justice leaguer to powerless superspy to goddess of war. But no matter what she's doing, Wonder Woman continues fighting for peace with all her super powers and feminine grace. Move over Xena, make way for the original warrior princess.
1. Princess Leia Organa, Star Wars
Ah, Princess Leia. If Star Wars is a classic fantasy set in space, of course it would need a princess. But in the volatile 70's, it wouldn't do to have your usual useless damsel in distress princess. No we needed a new kind of princess. Leia talked back, shot guns, and wasn't afraid to stand up to imperial jerks like Vader and Tarkin. In a way, she's like one of the outspoken political radicals of the day made into a princess. And like a true princess, she's a leader of the heroes, the Rebel Alliance in this case, fighting to take back the kingdom from an evil king. Leia helped break the ice for women in Sci-Fi. She showed that women could kick as much ass as the men, in fact she's a better shot than Han or Luke. She helped pave the way for female action stars like Ripley and Sarah Connor. Carrie Fisher gave her a great personality and her chemistry with Harrison Ford helped make both their characters iconic. Plus, she's got a great look. As much as I love her metal bikini, I still prefer her classic white dress and cinnamon bun hair. Kickass, funny, beautiful, Princess Leia is my number one Princess.
*Which is weird when you remember their parent company is Disney.
**Seriously, see Princess Mononoke. It is fucking amazing.
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